Sailor Buffy
by escargoat
Summary: BUffy gets into a fight with a demon that changes her and the gang into Sailor moon Characters, much to her dismay. BG themes and rampant stupidity Chapter 3 UP
1. Default Chapter

Oooh, surprise surprise, I don't own Buffy. Nor do I own Sailor Moon. Buffy is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and all the fun stations that have broadcasting rights.  Sailor Moon is owned by Naoko Takeuchi, Mixx / Tokyo Pop, Cloverway, DIC, etc,etc. I'm making no money off of this.

Eh, warnings. Does Mass stupidity count? Seriously though, there is going to be a B/G type romance in this. If that doesn't float your boat, give up now.

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With unexpected velocity, Buffy crashed through the storefront window of the local comic book store. She was not certain what the big ugly thing that she was fighting was, but she did know that it hit very hard when it was angry.

Buffy flipped back up onto her feet as the thing came through the window after her. They circled each other for a few seconds before Buffy went on the offensive with a roundhouse kick. The demon dodged her blow and swept her off balance so that she landed flat on her back.

As it loomed over her, Buffy reached out blindly and threw the first thing that her hand touched at it. In a haze of green light, the comic book she had just tossed disappeared as did the demon.

Buffy stared skeptically at the place that the demon had just been standing, "Oh, a big, scary demon that gets defeated by paper cuts. That's new."

With a grunt, she hauled herself out of the bookstore before the police came and found her there. With a glance at her watch, she decided to head back to the dorms and call it quits for the night's patrol.

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The next morning, Buffy woke up to the blare of her alarm clock. Groggily, she slapped it off and rolled over. She repeated the exercise about five times before she realized that it was Saturday and that she had agreed to go down to the Magic Box to help out.

Wailing at the top of her lungs, she dashed through her morning routine and ran out the door. She was over halfway there by the time it dawned on her that she had just yelled to the entire dorm that she was late for no apparent reason.

Shaking her head, she shook off the odd occurrence and kept going until she reached her destination.

She pushed the doors open brashly with a word of apology on her lips, but nobody appeared to notice that she was late nor that she had just flung open the door with unnecessary force.

Anya glanced up from where she was at the counter, "Good morning, Usagi!" She said in a highly chipper and over enthusiastic voice.

Buffy stared at her, "Umm, Hi Anya," she said as she slowly backed away, "That's a very nice ribbon you have in your hair today."

"Ohm thank you! You're so sweet!"

Buffy nodded once and turned towards the rest of the gang, who apparently had not noticed the fact that Anya had mysteriously been abducted and replaced with an insane cheerleader. What she noticed first, when she turned around was the fact that Willow had mysteriously dyed her hair blue. Next came the realization that Tara had dyed her hair strange shade of black followed quickly by the realization that Giles had on the most hideous green jacket that she had ever seen. Those things, however, were quickly trumped by the fact that Xander, was in fact, wearing a skirt.

Buffy shook her head, "Is there something going on that I don't know about? Is it Sunnydale 'Act stranger than normal' day or something?"

Giles glanced up from his book, "Of course not, Usako."

Buffy's eyes widened at Giles, "This is some big joke on Buffy, isn't it? You've all decided to see if Buffy is going to crack under pressure."

"Don't be silly, Usagi," Tara's voice was uncharacteristically strong.

Buffy grit her teeth together, "My name is BUFFY and this isn't funy."

Willow raised her gaze from the laptop screen she had been focusing on, "Actually, if you are going to use the English translation of your name, it should be 'Bunny' not 'Buffy,' Usagi-chan."

"Ah, she's just been studying too hard for her entrance exams," Xander said. Turning around he motioned to Buffy, "I brought some homemade cookies. Why don't you have some?"

Buffy stared at them. Xander in a skirt had brought homemade cookies. Tara was being mouthy. Willow had dyed her hair blue. Giles was wearing a hideous jacket. The Hellmouth had definitely done something to all of her friends. Although, the jacket might just be a typical Giles fashion mistake…

Before she could think of something to say, Spike came through the door. Spike with no blanket had just walked through the front door, and he was not on fire.

"Slayer, I need to talk to you and your little group of friends."

Buffy, to tell the truth, was slightly relieved that Spike had just used his normal abrasive manner. Granted, he was not on fire and his hair was an unusual shade of purple, but he at least seemed to be acting normally.

"Yes Spike?"

"I want to know…" Spike stopped and stared at Buffy, "What the hell did you do to your hair?"

Buffy glared at him, "What did I do to my hair? What did you do to your hair? Was being one of the undead not gothic enough for you?"

"You look like bleedin' Mickey Mouse. Sides, what wrong with my hair?"

Buffy's hands crept up to the top of her head only to find two circular lumps of hair resting on either side of her head. Her mouth widened in shock as she moved towards a display mirror to view the strange shape her head seemed to have taken on.

"Slayer, what's wrong with my hair!" Spike demanded impatiently.

Buffy whirled around, "Its purple you moron. Can't you see that?"

"Oh, yes. I can bloody well look into any mirror in town and see my pretty face," Spike snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Well I just thought that seems how you gained the ability to walk around in broad daylight you might be able to look into a mirror and fix your ugly self."

"Ha, ha Slayer. Besides, what do you think I came here to talk to you about, the weather?"

"I don't know Spike, maybe this is all just a part of your latest evil scheme," Buffy shot back accusingly.

"Oh, yes, because I just gained the ability to do magic," he sneered.

"Well, it could have been, right guys?" Buffy turned to see that the rest of the gang appeared to be ignoring them.

Spike turned around and stared at them, "Off hand, Slayer, I'd say there's something wrong."

"Thanks, Spike, I didn't notice that myself. I wouldn't notice that all of my friends are acting strangely and you are walking around enjoying the sunshine."

Spike frowned for a second, "Actually, that would be all of the vampires in Sunnydale are walking around in the sunshine."

Buffy rounded back to stare at Spike, "What?"

Spike shrugged nonchalantly, "Every creepy crawly thing is currently strolling through downtown Sunnydale like normal everyday people."

"Oh, this is just great… Wait a second, why are you telling me this?"

Spike smiled, "Cause I'm a nice person?"

Buffy raised one eyebrow, "You're the evil undead, Spike."

"Okay, okay. It's like this. I was in my crypt right? And then this umm, friend of mine comes knocking on the door, only its full daylight out. He says that something's happened and that we can go walking around. So I take a little jaunt, you know its been a few hundred years since I didn't burst into flame from a stroll in the sun…"

"Get to the point," Buffy said exasperated.

"Oh, well anyway, some other demon spied me and decided to settle an old debt. So, I went into game face, only what was supposed to happen didn't."

Buffy frowned, "What do you mean?"  
  


"Well, the next thing I knew, the demon who thought he was going to take a chunk out of me stars laughing his arse off, and I'm standing in the middle of the street with a pair of purple boots, and frilly, short purple skirt and a very big scythe. Well, naturally I beat him up with my big stick, but I'm not too keen on the whole skirt thing."

Buffy sighed, "Well, at least you're not alone. Whatever is going on seems to have given Xander a cross-dressing problem to."

Spike looked closer at Xander, "Say, Buffy, how close is the closest store that sells those instant cameras?"

Buffy glared at him, "Spike we have an emergency here, and nobody else seems to know it. And you're going to help me whether you like it or not. I'm betting I can still beat your ass into the ground."

"Fine, fine. I'll get the camera later," Spike sulked.

They stood in silence for a while.

"So, any idea why they aren't noticing us?" Spike said to break the silence.

Buffy shook her head, "I don't know. They were all talking to me earlier before you came in."

"Right then, umm, what do we do?"

Buffy sighed, "I'm not really sure. Normally, I'd ask Giles, but…"

Spike tilted his head to one side, "What's wrong with Rupes? Aside from the fact that his normal fashion sense has taken a distinct nose dive."

"He seems to think my name is "Useful" or something like that."

"Really? You didn't tell me that you and the old man were getting it on. What would your little soldier say about that?"

Buffy glared at Spike, "You aren't _that_ useful."

"Fine, fine. Be that way if you must," Spike sulked.

 "Maybe if I ask, Giles might know what's going on even if he isn't all there," Buffy thought out loud.

"Well, I 'spose its better than just standing here, now isn't it?" Spike replied smarmily.

Buffy blew a breath out of her lips and strolled over to where Giles was sitting.

"Hey, Giles," she started uncertainly.

Instantly two very intense eyes were staring straight into her own. 

"Yes, Usako?" Giles's voice was soft and passionate as he turned his face so their noses were mere inches apart.

"I, uhh, that is…" Buffy trailed off trying to pound into her brain the fact that all Giles had really done outside of his normal behavior was call her a different name.

Spike, of course, was busy laughing, still unnoticed by the others in the room.

"Nothing," Buffy choked out as she retreated.

Before Spike could put in another of his sparkling witticisms, the door to the shop opened again presenting to Spike and Buffy a very exasperated and pink haired Dawn.

"And I thought your hair looked bloody awful," Spike mumbled to Buffy.

"What is going on?" Dawn shrieked.

Everyone in the shop looked over at her. Giles took his glasses off, stuffed them into his pocket, and strolled over to Dawn. He knelt down so he was at eye level with her, "What's wrong, Chibi Usa?" he asked softly.

Dawn started to make strangled noises in throat and got a desperate look on her face. Wild eyes focused on Buffy.

"This is your fault isn't it?" she whined.

Instantly, Dawn was surrounded by the rest of the gang all trying to find out what had happened and trying to calm her down. As the seconds ticked by, Dawn's expression was getting steadily deranged. Buffy pushed through the crowd and grabbed Dawn's arm.

"We, have to, ah, go home now," Buffy pronounced lamely.

Fortunately, the others seemed to think it was a perfectly acceptable excuse and said goodbye. Buffy dragged Dawn out the door and Spike followed.

Once they had found themselves a secluded alley Buffy stopped to talk to Dawn.

"Do you know who I am?" Buffy asked quickly.

"Of course, you're my annoying older sister, Buffy. You're a little hard to forget," Dawn replied.

Dawn's eyes flitted over to Spike, "Why is he walking around in the sun?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out," Buffy said as she sagged against the wall of the building.

"And I guess that the reason that he's walking around in the sun is the same reason I'm living in a Sailor Moon nightmare?" Dawn asked.

"A what?" Buffy asked back.

"Sailor Moon, you know, a famous Japanese cartoon, badly dubbed…"

"Wait, you're saying we're all cartoon characters?" Buffy's voice raised an octave in pitch.

"Well, it is the Hellmouth," Spike supplied helpfully.

Dawn rolled her eyes, "Yeah. Do normal people roll their hair up in odangos?"

"What?" Buffy asked, confused.

"The two round things on your head," Dawn replied in her best teenage "duh" tone.

Spike lit up a cigarette, "How do you know what they're called?"

Dawn blushed, "Well I maybe, sort of, dabbled in Sailor Moon. You know I bought some subbed videos maybe a few manga…"

Buffy's eyes lit up, "So you know what's going on."

Dawn shook her head, "I might know who everybody is supposed to be, but I don't know what's causing all of this."

"Of course," Spike moaned.

"What?" Buffy asked sharply.

"I might know what caused this," Spike stated.

"And that would be?" Buffy asked testily.

Spike grinned, "How much is it worth to you?"

Buffy glowered at him, "I don't know, Spike. How do you feel about spending the rest of your life in a frilly purple skirt?"

Spike frowned, "Forgot about that. Simple truth is, some idiot got into a fight with a Media Demon."

Buffy gave him an unbelieving look, "You're joking. There is no demon called that."

Spike growled at her, "It's just a name it has picked up over the years. The original name was too long and hard to pronounce. Rupes would probably know it, but he isn't available right now, is he?"

"Alright, I get your point. So what did this 'media demon' do?"

"Well, if they're provoked into an attack, they get someone to toss a piece of media: a song, a book, a movie, anything really, and they make that person live out the story in it. Apparently, they find it great fun to watch the general chaos that ensues. They aren't very popular, you know. Not even among us. It's bloody inconvenient."

Buffy stared at him, "So how do we undo what ever it is that it did?"

"Don't know. I've always been able to steer clear of them before."

"But wait," Dawn butted in, "How come we aren't affected like Giles and the others?"

"Well, those with a mystical element to them don't get their minds messed with. The Slayer is naturally immune as are your garden variety demons and vampires. Don't know why you aren't though. You should be. 'Specially when the watcher and the witches aren't immune," Spike shrugged his shoulders and took another drag off of his cigarette.

"Well, Mr. Answers why don't you tell us why they didn't notice you in the store," Buffy challenged.

"I don't bloody well know why," Spike snapped back.

Dawn frowned, "Maybe he wasn't acting in character enough, maybe they just ignore everything that doesn't fit with a character's normal behavior."

Spike nodded, "You might have something there. That might be why they didn't act strangely when Buffy called them by their normal names."

Buffy sighed, "Yes, well, fascinating as this all is, it doesn't help us one bit. We don't know how to fix whatever happened, and I'm not exactly 'book girl.' I'm the slayer, I beat things up."

Spike snorted, "And I suppose I'm a real bookworm?"

Dawn sighed, "Look you two, it's pretty obvious that we're going to have to do some research ourselves. We can probably read the books at the Magic Shop really easily."

"What about Giles's personal books that he keeps at his place? We can't just ask him for his "Five-easy-steps-to-identifying Demons", I'm guessing," Buffy stated.

Dawn sighed, "Well, actually, getting access to Giles's books is probably going to be really easy."

"Why's that?" Spike drawled.

Dawn grinned, "Because Buffy's his girlfriend."


	2. 2

SetsunaFanGirl: I'm glad you like it. I did think of making Willow and tara Haruke and Michiru, but then I decided that they really fit the roles of the  "guardian scouts" better, PLUS I wanted to have a bit of irreverent fun with Uranus and Neptune. And Yes, Spike has indeed become Sailor Saturn.

Editcat: *G* I certainly hope it gets better.

KatBlue4444: 1. Because its funny if they're girls. 2. Because, in a more serious answer, Sailor Moon has four inner guardians. It would make sense that Xander would be one of the Inner Scouts. And Spike, being undead, would be gothic like Sailor Saturn sort of was. Plus Saturn's powers can end the world. And I used the Japanese names because I'm a geek and the fact that if I use the American Dub names, people might think that Uranus and Neptune are cousins, which they aren't.

But seems how some people might be confused here is a list to keep things straight:

Japanese Name- American Name – Hero Name

Usagi – Serena – Sailor Moon

Mamoru – Darien – Tuxedo Kamen (Mask in the US)

Makoto – Lita – Sailor Jupiter

Minako – Mina – Sailor Venus

Rei – Ray – Sailor Mars

Ami – Amy – Sailor Mercury

Haruka - Amara   - Sailor Uranus

Michiru - Michelle – Sailor Neptune

Setsuna – Trista – Sailor Pluto

Hotaru – Hotaru – Sailor Saturn

Chibi Usa – Rini – Sailor Chibi Moon (or Mini Moon in the US)

Variations on names indicate a sort of pet name. AND for anyone who has only seen the dub, Uranus and Neptune are not cousins in the originals. They are lovers. Just so you know as I will probably do something with this later.

I'm going to mostly refer to characters by their Buffy names anyway though, so it doesn't really matter all that much.

Whew, after all of that, here is the next, albeit short, chapter. The rest of the senshi will show up in the next chapter. I promise.

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Buffy glared at her little sister, "You did not say what I think you just said."

"Actually, I'm kind of hoping she did," Spike said with glee.

Dawn looked at her sister, "Look, I didn't write the story and I'm pretty sure I'm not the one who called down the demon boy's wrath."

"Umm, demon girl, actually, pet," Spike corrected.

Buffy glanced over at him, "Demon girl?"

"What? Our lot can't be into Equal Opportunity Employment?" Spike looked offended.

Buffy frowned, "Say, Spike, what would one of these demons look like?"

"Oh, Big, Brown, Blobby with a Bit of Blue on its tail. Could we go back to the part about you locking lips with Rupert?"

Buffy slapped her hand against her forehead, "I got into a fight with that thing last night."

Spike grinned, "You caused this? Aside from the whole skirt thing, this is turning out to be my lucky day. Harris is in drag. I can tip toe through the tulips in daylight, and it's all the slayer's fault."

Buffy glared at Spike, "That is so it," she said as she stepped menacingly towards him.

Spike backed up a couple of paces not knowing if the sudden transformations had mitigated the effects of the chip that was in his brain. He was about to run for it when he was suddenly face with Buffy in a very short ruffled skirt. Spike eyed her up and down, then proceeded to burst out laughing.

"What?" Buffy asked before she realized that there was a breeze where there hadn't been a breeze earlier.

"I am so NOT in a miniskirt and red boots," Buffy moaned as she glanced down at herself.

She turned and looked at her sister, "What kind of a series is this?"

Dawn shrugged in her typically teenage way, "Be glad you didn't chuck the X-Men at it. You'd be running around in spandex that strategically rips every ten seconds."

Before Buffy could retort, Spike let out a low whistle, "You have a great pair of thighs, Slayer."

Angered, Buffy reached for her stake so she could properly threaten Spike only to find herself shaking a rather ornate and PINK rod at him. As Spike again dissolved into laughter, Buffy again turned to look at Dawn.

Dawn sighed and began before Buffy could ask, "It's your scepter. You and, umm Giles, created it out of your powers."

Spike forced himself to stop laughing long enough to spout off the witty comment, "It's a bloody token of your LOVE?" After which, he began to laugh even more heartily.

Buffy glared at him, "Is it healthy for the undead to laugh that much? It kind of ruins your morbidly cool angle."

Spike snorted and composed himself back into his normal diffident stance.

Buffy sighed as she look down at her skirt again, "How do I undo this?"

Dawn shrugged, "I'm not really sure. It isn't exactly something you put in a comic when you're trying to entertain people. Just try willing it away."

"What do you think I'm doing?" Buffy snapped back.

Spike whistled tunelessly into the air, "Well, if would want the advice of someone who's been in this position…"

"Spike, just tell me, or I'm going to beat you with my pink heart rod thingy."

Spike sighed, "You people are no fun at all. Fine then. You just need to calm down a bit and sort of imagine yourself in normal clothes."

"You want me to calm DOWN?" Buffy shrieked.

Spike winced and covered his ears as did Dawn. Buffy herself looked surprised.

Dawn tapped Buffy on her back, "You might want to not try to whine too much. You kind of have super powered vocal cords."

Buffy sighed, "Maybe we should settle down and tell us what we need to know."

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Two hours later, Buffy was staring at Giles's front door. Dawn stood impatiently behind her.

"Just knock, Buffy. He isn't going to molest you," she whined.

Buffy nodded but still stood where she was. Exasperated, Dawn reached around her sister and knocked on the door. Seconds later, Giles opened the door. His lips quirked into a tiny smile as his gaze fell on Buffy.

"Hey, Giles," Buffy said uncertainly.

"Hello, Usako. Did you come to see me?" Giles responded.

Buffy started at him, "Umm, yeah I, uh, came to see you. You know me, Miss wants-to-see-her-boyfriend."

This earned her a small, yet endearing smile as Giles motioned for her to come in. Dawn gave Buffy a little shove to get her to move through the door.

"Ah, would you two like some hot chocolate?" He asked as Dawn and Buffy settled onto his couch.

Buffy mechanically nodded as Dawn gave an annoyingly enthusiastic "yes." When Giles went into the kitchen, Dawn poked Buffy in the arm.

"What is wrong with you?"

Buffy looked incredulously at her sister, "What's wrong with me? I'm pretending to be my watcher's girlfriend. Giles is offering us Hot chocolate instead of complaining about my lack of appreciation for tea, and his apartment is insanely neat. Do you see it? He doesn't even have any books laying around."

"Buffy, we need to gather information. Now I'm going to try to grab some books, and I need you to distract Giles, so do it" Dawn whispered furiously before Giles came back.

Buffy eyed the large plate of cookies he brought with skeptically. 

Dawn bounced off of Giles's couch and grabbed a cookie and a cup of coco, "Hey, Mamo-chan, can I look around your apartment?" She said with big puppy dog eyes.

A patient smile crossed his lips and he nodded, "Just be careful, Chibi Usa."

Buffy grit her teeth as her sister abandoned her to be alone with her menacing watcher who was eerily watching her with adoring eyes. Giles seated himself next to her on the couch. Seconds passed. Buffy munched morosely on her cookie. She took a sip of coco. Giles took a sip of tea. More second passed. Buffy heard a window creak open. Giles took another sip of tea. Buffy heard a muffled curse as Dawn dropped a book on Spike's foot as she tossed them out the window to him. Giles's head turned at the sound of Spike's voice.

Acting quickly, Buffy grabbed Giles's arm, "Umm, Giles, ah, that is, ummm," she trailed off helplessly. Apparently this was enough as Giles began to smile adoringly at her again. He chuckled softly and brushed his hand against the side of Buffy's face. Buffy's eyes widened in shock as he began to lean closer to her. His eyes fluttered closed as his mouth began to close in on her own. Caught like a vampire in the middle of a field during sunrise, Buffy just sat still in shock.

"Hey, guys!" Dawn's irritatingly chipper voice cut through the moment and the next thing Buffy knew, Giles was sitting calmly back on his own end of the sofa.

Buffy fiddled with her hands, "Gee, Dawn, isn't it about time that we get you home?" Her forced chipper tone was almost as bad as Dawn's.

Dawn nodded, "Yeah, Mom's expecting us."

Giles escorted them to the door. Dawn bounced out with a cheery wave. Buffy started to slip out after her, but Giles caught her hand. With a quick tug, he had his arm around her waist. Before Buffy knew what happened, she felt Giles press a quick kiss to her lips.

"Goodnight," he whispered against them.

Shocked, Buffy mumbled a quick goodbye before bolting out of the door.

What she didn't see, was Spike hiding nearby with a newly purchased camera in his hand and a very large grin on his face.


	3. 3

Ahh, lets see I'm probably going to insult big Angel fans and Riley fans and probably some Oz fans in this chapter. Thou hast been warned.

If you aren't into Sailor moon and want to refresh your memory (our ignite your imagination with what these guys currently look like) I'm going to put a list at the bottom of the fic of which character goes with who and you can do a simple search for their pictures. I'm putting it at the bottom of the chapter as I still have to introduce three more Sailors. And no, I'm not going to go into Sailor Stars as this fic has way to many characters in it already.

And I promise to get back to B/G goodness in the next chapter. I do, really. 

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Buffy stared in shock as she entered her house. She, Spike and Dawn had agreed that it was probably the wisest thing to do the research at home instead of trekking to Buffy's dorm room. What Buffy did not expect was the fact that her mother was almost insanely cleaning and cooking. She also apparently did not notice that Buffy and company had hauled in a bunch of dusty books and were acting very secretive.

Buffy glanced over at Dawn who simply shrugged her shoulders.

"What can I say?" Dawn whispered, "She really didn't notice that her daughter was a secret superhero in the comics."

"Your Mum didn't notice that Buffy-Buffy was a superhero, er, slayer," Spike added.

Buffy pushed him as they marched up the stairs to her room. "Be quiet purple boy."

"Purple boy? That the best you can do? Old Rupert must be a better kisser than I thought he was."

"You kissed GILES?" Dawn squeaked loudly.

"I didn't kiss Giles; the person that he thinks he is kissed the person that he thinks I am. Did that come out right?"

"Sounds like denial to me," Spike mumbled.

"What was that?" Buffy asked hotly.

"I said, that this potion in this book sounds vile to me," Spike said as he shrank under Buffy's gaze.

Buffy's eyes narrowed, "How can you be an evil vampire for so long and still not be able to lie convincingly?"

"And I suppose you're one to talk. You can't even convince yourself that you didn't want to slip your watcher a little tongue," Spike retaliated.

"EEWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Dawn shrieked before clasping her hands over her ears and humming loudly.

Buffy rolled her eyes in disgust. "Can we just get back to doing the research thing?"

The three of them dug into the pilfered books from Giles for a total of ten minutes before their brains began to glaze over.

Dawn coughed. "You know, I don't think I'm old enough to really make sense of these."

Spike shook his head, "Don't look at me, pet, I'm more of an action man myself."

Buffy sighed, "This is hopeless. We need Giles or Willow. I'm the Slayer. I Slay. Giles is the Watcher. He…" Buffy trailed off as she realized that she was basically recounting a conversation that she had had with Giles.

Fortunately, she was spared any snide comments that Spike would have made by a sudden knocking at the door. Buffy raced from her room, down the stairs and opened the door. Angel stood outside, in a designer suit in purple with a skirt and high heels.

Buffy stared at him, speechless. 

Angel shifted nervously under her shocked stare.

Spike, having followed Buffy downstairs, poked his head around Buffy. "What happened to you? Experienced a moment of pure humor and it turned you into a cross dresser?"

Angel's nostrils flared. "What is he doing here?"

"I've been invited, I have," Spike retorted feeling quite superior.

"Stop it," Buffy commanded, "We have a problem here and I need all the help I can get, so the two of you need to be civil to each other until everything is back to normal, or as close as it ever gets."

Angel adopted a contrite look while Spike merely mumbled a "Yes, mommy."

Soon Buffy, Spike and Angel were all sitting up in her room with Dawn.

"…and the next thing I know, instead of my normal vamp face, I'm running along in a mini skirt with a tiara and high heeled boots. So I beheaded a couple of vamps with my long key shaped pole thingy, and when I relaxed, I'm wearing a very stylish office outfit with a skirt," Angel informed them.

Dawn raised an eyebrow. "And you didn't think to change into some pants before you came?"

"I wasn't sure if I could, or if my other clothes would just change with me," Angel replied.

"Well, I gotta say that green isn't really your color," Buffy said with a small smile.

"Although, I do think that those big, red earrings do you a service," Spike added smarmily.

"Watch it Captain Pero... ummm, Purple," Angel finished lamely.

"Hey, I said no fighting," Buffy interjected while Spike settled for simply sticking his tongue out at Angel.

Angel crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. "He started it."

Buffy sighed. "Look you guys can beat each other senseless as soon as we figure this whole thing out. 

Dawn smiled, "Besides, you two have to get along. You are Spike's mommy after all, Angel."

"Bloody Hell," Spike mumbled.

Angel shook his head back and forth, "There is no way that I'm going to spend quality time with Spike."

"First thing I've agreed with you in years about," Spike snarled back.

"But you have to," Dawn whined, "What little we've discovered points to the fact that we have to act as close to our characters as possible."

"I'm not going to do it," Angel said pompously, or as pompously as he could while wearing a lavender suit complete with skirt.

Buffy smacked him on his arm. "Look, I had to kiss Giles, the least you can do for me is play nice with Spike."

"You kissed Giles?" Angel's voice was held notes of astonishment in it while his eyes betrayed poorly hidden jealousy.

"That isn't the point," Buffy protested, "The point is that we have to find a way out of this, and I need you all to cooperate."

Spike sighed a martyr's sigh. "Well if I bloody well have to spend time with the great poof, he can at least find a pair of pants, can't he? He's got worse legs than Harris."

Angel's eyes lit up in interest. "Xander was in a skirt? Suddenly, I don't feel so bad."

Buffy shook her head in exasperation. "Do you two have the mental capacity of two-year-olds? We are in trouble here and all you can think about is the fact that Xander is in a skirt."

"Well, at least we aren't contemplating Xander in a skirt in the _other_ way," Angel retorted.

Spike chuckled a bit before he realized he was laughing at a joke that Angel had made. Then he quickly sombered and put on his pensive yet cool vampire look.

Buffy merely rolled her eyes, "Whatever. Look I need you to go out and get some information if you can. Dawn and I will stay here and so the research thing."

Angel sighed  and nodded while Spike merely tried to look like acquiescing had really been his idea. Soon, they both left.

Dawn glanced over at Buffy. "Do you really think that they aren't going to kill each other?"

Buffy listened and could hear the muffled sound of Spike and Angel's bickering as the two vampire walked down the street. "Nah, not really, but better them pounding baddies for information than pounding each other when we're trying to do research."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"Mine's bigger, "Angel taunted as he swung his key staff at one of the demons who had not taken nicely to their question.

"It might be bigger, but I've got a much better edge," Spike shot back as he swung his pole scythe and decapitated another demon.

"World Shaking!" A deep voice cut through the air seconds before a powerful ball off light exploded a couple of demons.

Spike and Angel looked on in astonishment as violin music seemed to filter .in from nowhere.

"Sailors from a New Age; Sailor Uranus, fighting gorgeously!"

"AND Sailor Neptune, fighting Gracefully," a bland voice said in a bored tone.

Spike took one look in the direction of the voices and became useless for the rest of the fight as he fell down helplessly on the ground trying to prove that one can indeed die of laughing too much. It was a good thing he was already dead.

As sailors "Uranus" and "Neptune" finished off the remaining baddies, Angel stared in complete shock.

"Neptune" walked over to him while "Uranus" finished up.

"Angel," Oz said in his normal diffident tone.

Spike took that moment to look up from the ground before he began to laugh again.

"Oz, you know who I am?" Angel asked.

"Yeah, must be a werewolf thing. One moment I'm sitting in my van, the next thing I know, Riley over there is telling me how I have to come with him and that there is trouble."

"Riley?" Angel asked as his eyes traveled over to the before mentioned soldier.

A distinct clicking sound was heard as Spike took several snapshots of Buffy's beau.

Angel looked down at the normally blonde vampire. "Disposable camera? Ameture," he scoffed as he pulled out a more sophisticated telescopic lens camera and took a few shots himself.

"Hey, now. Where'd you get that?" Spike asked as he finally pulled himself up off of the ground. 

Angel smiled patronizingly, "I run an investigative agency."

"In other words, Cordelia bought it," Oz supplied helpfully.

"Well, yes, but that isn't the point," Angel stammered.

Spike snorted, "Bloody Poof."

Oz sighed as he played with his aquamarine tresses, "Do you like this color? I'm thinking of keeping it for the band."

Spike cocked his head to one side, "Actually, it might be nice for a band. Not as nice as my color naturally, but it might work."

At that point, Riley came up and stood unnaturally close to Oz, who for the briefest of nanoseconds looked uncomfortable.

Spike and Angel made it a point to look anywhere but at Riley's ruffled blue skirt and wrapped blue high heels.

"And I thought your legs were unseemly," Spike whispered to Angel.

Angel shook his head, "I can't believe that Buffy dates him."

"Dates him, I can't believe that the Slayer shags with him," Spike retorted.

Angel shook his head in agreement. Angel and Spike paused before glaring at each other to cover the fact that they had just agreed with each other.

"Well, I suppose we should report into Buffy," Angel suggested.

Riley nodded brusquely, "Yes, we should check in with the princess, but it is late. We should check on her tomorrow."

Riley put a hand on Oz's shoulder and led him off into the night. The clicking of cameras followed them.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

The next day, Buffy sat at the Magic Box uncomfortably watching Xander beat the living daylights out of her punching bag. Not that it was quite as disturbing as hearing him ramble on about wanting to find the perfect guy and get married. 

Buffy felt someone sit down next to her. Glancing over, she could see that it was Anya who was still wearing the incredibly large hair bow that she had been wearing yesterday.

"Soooo, how was your date with Mamo-chan last night?" Anya asked in an entirely too perky voice.

Buffy blushed and could not say anything. Apparently this was enough as Anya began to wax poetic about men and wanting to be a star. After about ten minutes, Buffy was desperately wishing for the old Anya who would be waxing poetic about sex and the sweat that Xander was working up.

Willow, at least, seemed to be somewhat normal. Although, it did seem that she had regressed from her current lesbian wicca to her previous computer nerd that blushed when guys were talked about.

Tara though… Buffy shuddered at the thought of Tara. The normal girl was just so soft spoken and nice. But when Buffy had whined over all of Xander's home made donuts being gone, Tara had gone after her about her large appetite and they had ended up having a very bizarre fight which promptly ended when Buffy whined and cried at previously unknown decibels.

Dawn, of course, seemed to be loved by everyone even though she was a little brat. Although, it could just be the fact that Dawn was enjoying Buffy's predicament too much. 

Buffy shot up the instant she heard the front doors to the shop open. To her chagrin, she was desperately hoping it was Spike and Angel. 

The fact that she was hoping to see Spike was a bad thought in itself, but the one that replaced it was even worse, for it was not Spike nor Angel who stepped through the dors, but it was Giles.

Giles in a black shirt and a pair of tight fitting slacks with the horrid green blazer slung over his shoulder. The aforementioned shirt hugged tightly at Giles' arms, showing off his muscles. And the way that the slacks hugged certain parts of his anatomy was criminal.

Buffy blushed in mortification. For the briefest of seconds, she had thought that Giles was hot.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Here are the list of characters.

Giles – Tuxedo Kamen / Mask

Buffy – Sailor Moon

Dawn – Sailor MiniMoon or Sailor Chibi Moon

Xander – Sailor Jupiter

Anya – Sailor Venus

Willow – Sailor Mercury

Tara – Sailor Mars

Spike – Sailor Saturn

Angel – Sailor Pluto

Riley – Sailor Uranus

Oz – Sailor Neptune


End file.
